Welcome to your "996 Era", BMW

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 06/02/2020 at 17:55 • Filed to: Ugly Cars

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Those fried egg headlamps are starting to look mighty delicious right now...

Or perhaps you’re in the mood for fish:

Brought to you by the 996 Headlamp Appreciation Society

Azrek > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 17:58

3

Everyone: I am not sure how I feel about those giant grills on Lexus cars...
BMW: Ooo...people are talking about giant grills!? STAND BACK...HOLD MY PANTS!
Everyone: .......wait...no....sigh.....what’s Audi got going on? 

CB > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:01

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Was it Takuro years ago who kept posting single grille BMWs? We need that to happen again.

fintail > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:02

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It’s like an Edsel-Lexus hybrid.

However, the brand has such a devoted fanbase (and the rest of the car appears inoffensive) that the cars will sell no matter.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > CB 06/02/2020 at 18:03

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I vaguely remember this being a thing, but can’t remember who. But whoever did it, if you see this, DO IT AGAIN.

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:06

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They should just change their name to BMWTF at this point

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:10

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It's a shame because I actually quite like the rest of the car.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 06/02/2020 at 18:10

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Is it pronounced BMW-The, FUCK ?!?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > fintail 06/02/2020 at 18:13

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I’m going to disagree in regards to the 3/4-series specifically. I think I’ve seen maybe three in the wild. The X2,X3,X5, and X7 will still sell like hotcakes in compliance with your observation of that fanbase, but BMW’s sedan/coupe game has trending down, plus people jumping ship for a Model 3.

ranwhenparked > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:13

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At least 996 headlights are easy to fix, I’m not sure what anyone can do about that grille.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:15

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The BMW is hideous. My friend has a 996 and always points out the GT1 car had those blobs.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/02/2020 at 18:16

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It’s okay, I liked the rest of it as well. Even if it’s some kinda Audi/Infiniti schadenfreude-baby with malignant kidneys that doesn’t have the Hofmeister kink .

But that  is truly a face not even a mother could love.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 06/02/2020 at 18:18

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Your friend is correct, and that car is  dead sexy.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:19

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It wasn’t all that gaudy at somewhat of a new take up until that. . . thing. . . plastered itself on the front.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:19

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The front and BMW’s lack of red in the paint selection is just confusing. Who approved this? Were the other designs that much worse?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > ranwhenparked 06/02/2020 at 18:20

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Even without that “fix” (I’m still questioning how one uses forward indicators with that), it’s not even that bad comparatively!

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/02/2020 at 18:20

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Maybe living in Bellevue has tainted me.  I see the full model line all the time.  Heck I even saw an 8er yesterday, and I think there’s a 3er GT in my building.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 06/02/2020 at 18:21

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Everything about that front end and the lack of a red or even “fun” color is just confusing.

PatBateman > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:23

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I want more grill.  ALL THE GOD DAMNED GRILL NOW I WANT IT GIVE IT TO ME.

PyramidHat > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:24

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So the headlights are fine...it was the rest of the front end.  Interesting...interesting....

PyramidHat > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:24

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For reasons I can’t quite quantify, that front end makes me think of MG...

WilliamsSW > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 18:25

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It’s BM-what- the -fuck.

And you know what BM stands for...

ranwhenparked > fintail 06/02/2020 at 18:53

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BMW could attach wheels and an engine to a full septic tank and it would still sell, as long as it had a big enough blue and white badge on the front. 

facw > PatBateman 06/02/2020 at 18:54

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Ah so you’re an Avalon fan?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PyramidHat 06/02/2020 at 19:09

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I don’t think that’s going in the direction I intended....

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 06/02/2020 at 19:10

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It’s amazing how one design element can truly destroy an overall image.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > WilliamsSW 06/02/2020 at 19:11

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Bolivian Mangosteen?

Saracen > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 19:13

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Lexus: “We’ve slapped the ugliest grille ever on our cars.”

BMW: “ Halte meinen Hefeweizen.”  

WilliamsSW > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 19:54

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Bowel Movement

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 20:09

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You know I just started liking BMW a few years ago(when I bought mine) and then they go any personally betray me like this.

This is almost as bad as being a Honda guy when the 05 Civic came out. Almost. 

fintail > ranwhenparked 06/02/2020 at 20:12

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Exactly. BMW has had its share of garbage over the past ~15 years, and it all sold . Some brands (MB is in it too, along with Toyolex) could rebadge a Yugo and some would snap it up.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PyramidHat 06/02/2020 at 21:08

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You might........be onto something. We need to wait and see the convertible model.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 22:54

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except the 996 looks ok.

this is like the g6gxp

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/02/2020 at 23:29

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So for sc hitzengiggles, I built a 330i on BMWs website. If you select the track handling package, you can’t get red paint. So in BMWs mind, red paint is the opposite of performance.

Tripper > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/03/2020 at 07:14

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Completely lost it for BMW after the E chassis. I like love the 1 m coupe. I also like the M2 but I don’t think it’s pretty.

Tripper > ranwhenparked 06/03/2020 at 07:16

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Seen those IRL? I don’t like the fried eggs any more than the next guy,  it these are somehow worse in person.

stuckMTB > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 06/03/2020 at 09:45

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You get a star. This is the correct take.

Stef Schrader > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 06/03/2020 at 11:11

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As with the 996, I hope it’s just an era. The GIANT VOIDS grille makes the 996's melty eggs and blobby interior look like timeless designs in contrast.

PatBateman > facw 06/03/2020 at 12:12

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NOT.  BAD.